Decisions...decisions...

Three years on…

A friend spoke of his current predicament of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. It was 3 years since I wrote that piece and now I shared it with him. Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn’t. From recent lessons, I have learned that some people actually find useful the experiences that I share with them. So I have decided to share. His choice is to use or discard.

We are often stuck with the worry of making the wrong decisions. But is there really ever a wrong decision? For that matter, is there really ever a right decision? We make our choices based on information we know or what we think we know. These may be logical, and may also be emotional. What do we know of its consequences when there are so many variables present surrounding each decision?

A reasonable person does not make decisions with intent to hurt others.

A reasonable person does not knowingly make decisions which would make him/her worse off.

A reasonable person would not knowingly make decisions which would put people he cares for in disadvantageous position.

And we all think that we are reasonable people.

But even with the best of intentions, we do hurt others. We do become worse off from time to time. We do put our loved ones in disadvantageous positions. Does that mean we made bad decisions?

At other times, consequences of our decisions are that we give joy to ourselves and others. We help ease another’s burden. We get our loved ones overcome obstacles. Do those mean that we made good decisions?

Not so! They are merely decisions. Period. Their outcomes may be partially within our power to determine. But while we may think that we are more or less in control, there are millions other decisions being made at the same time by others totally (or rather, seemingly) unconnected to us which affect the outcome of ours.

It’s ok to pat ourselves in the back for happy outcomes as it makes us feel good.  But we must stop beating up ourselves for making ‘wrong’ decisions. In the larger scheme of things, we are all powerless anyway.