Borrowed Time

My parents passed on around a decade ago, within 4 yrs of each other. It is natural for me to think that old people would be gone, so I never gave much thought over when my parents would leave us. I had also taken it for granted that we love each other enough, or know each other well enough, for them to understand that I love them; that I've done for them what I could be expected to do for them; that all is forgiven; so that I can get on with life without any regrets as far as my relationships with them is concerned.

It is different when it comes to friends. I have made some incredible relationships throughout my life. These relationships had started since anything from my teenage years, college, my three jobs, and others in between.

As friends my age returned home to Allah in the recent years, it got me thinking, how much more time do I have left with those still with me. Will I leave this world without the chance to tell them how grateful I am for their presence in my life? Or will it be the case that I will be regretting not saying things that need to be said when they precede me.

Age is a factor. Some of them have passed their official life expectancies. I have told them my appreciation for sharing with me their friendship. But distance from some of these special persons has prevented me from saying it while looking into their eyes, or to seal it with a hug.

These elderly friends have taught me much on the meaning of respect. I do not mean that I learnt to respect the elderly from them. They taught me how to earn respect and to give respect, and that one earns respects when giving where its due. They showed me respect when I thought I was nobody but a fleck of dust in their world of experience and knowledge. I learned without a doubt that respect has nothing to do with our social position. I learned that we all deserve respect for the simple reason that we are human; that each of us is someone's child, mother, father, sister, brother.

I am still hopeful that I will meet each one of these wonderful people on my list. I am hopeful that Allah will lend us sufficient time and resources we need to fulfil my desire to thank each and every one of them in person, and to tell them how much difference they have made in my life.

Marriage Proposals

How does one handle three marriage proposals in a day.

Accept the first.
It wasnt for me. It was for the lovely young woman who lives in my house. The boy's family came to see the family of the girl's, brought a ring and left it for the girl and her family to consider. Its just a formality. The fact that they were welcomed for the visit was already a tacit acceptance.

Reject the second with no concern of his feelings.
Is there any other way when he is married, with a mixed-bag of children at that? Out of love for his two children, I have maintained a friendly relationship. However, when he keeps making his intention known to all and sundry including his family, his children, my family and my friends (asking them to plead on his behalf), I have no option but to avoid him as much as possible. Where is his brain? Well, his children say that its in his knee-caps, so I guess I'm gonna have to smash his knees to knock some sense into him.

Reject the third delicately.
There is love. There is affection. There is hurt too. A year ago I told him, its now or never. We continued to keep in touch, meeting every couple of months. Some 3~4 months ago, I repeated that call when my heart somewhat softened. Still, nothing happened. So I made other commitments taking into account a life without him. I took up a new job which will last me up to 3 years. I met new people. I started new and rewarding relationships. In a space of a mere 3 months, too many things have changed such that to build a life with him is no longer important. Worse, it no longer feels right. How do I tell this man whom I have loved for many years, without hurting him? No sense in keeping this hanging over us. When he made the proposal late that evening, I told him as it is. He didnt believe me. Two weeks on, he is still in denial. Its as if he hadnt heard me. Next step: Quit him cold turkey.

Smell The Roses

I do stop to smell the roses. One of the things that I do towards that is to spend as little time as possible on the road so I have more time for the things I enjoy most. That means leaving home when it is still dark and leaving work early, to avoid traffic congestions. Little did I know that there are roses to smell even during those rush hours.

After a late night out, I left home this morning 20 minutes later than usual, into slow-moving traffic. As my car reached the brow of the hill facing east, I was presented with a wonderful scene of daybreak sunlight shining from below the clouds. The warm glow in many shades of red, orange and yellow, and the shadows which played on the clouds above were simply magnificent. I gaped at the beautiful picture, praising Allah for His inimitable creation. For once I was actually willing for the traffic to remain at a standstill, just so I can enjoy the stunning view which I know will last for only a few minutes.